He had not dreamed ere now of having her so bound; and, having her bound, he realizes that this is not what he had truly dreamed.
Not in several senses; certainly, he had never dreamed of seeing her with her face pale and sad and tearstained, her beautiful blue eyes looking up at him sadly.
He cannot bear the misery in her expression, and though he knows it is folly, knows he only courts a more dreadful rejection, he cannot bear bending to kiss the tears away, to brush the salt tracks with his lips and stroke away the evidence of her misery---
And, beyond his dreams, she does not turn her head from him, nor curse his name; instead she sighs sadly, sadly--- and leans into the touch. "Kain," she murmurs sadly, and, "You are as much a prisoner as I, aren't you," almost meditatively.
He wants to bridle at it, but then he thinks she is not wrong, for all that it is not Golbez alone to whom he is bound.
No; it is his love and longing for Rosa that holds him here, far more than Golbez's compulsions; and--- having her so bound--- he can at last admit to himself, shameful and unmanly though it is, what he had truly dreamed.
It is not to have Rosa bound; no---
It is to be bound to her, himself, and in being bound by her to know that she desires him.
But that, of course, is too much ever to hope for, and so he will content himself with this, and take what he can have.
"Bound":FFIV OGC: Kain/Rosa, PG-13 for dubcon and bondage
Not in several senses; certainly, he had never dreamed of seeing her with her face pale and sad and tearstained, her beautiful blue eyes looking up at him sadly.
He cannot bear the misery in her expression, and though he knows it is folly, knows he only courts a more dreadful rejection, he cannot bear bending to kiss the tears away, to brush the salt tracks with his lips and stroke away the evidence of her misery---
And, beyond his dreams, she does not turn her head from him, nor curse his name; instead she sighs sadly, sadly--- and leans into the touch. "Kain," she murmurs sadly, and, "You are as much a prisoner as I, aren't you," almost meditatively.
He wants to bridle at it, but then he thinks she is not wrong, for all that it is not Golbez alone to whom he is bound.
No; it is his love and longing for Rosa that holds him here, far more than Golbez's compulsions; and--- having her so bound--- he can at last admit to himself, shameful and unmanly though it is, what he had truly dreamed.
It is not to have Rosa bound; no---
It is to be bound to her, himself, and in being bound by her to know that she desires him.
But that, of course, is too much ever to hope for, and so he will content himself with this, and take what he can have.